“Hello, I'm Dave's beard.
“I currently live on his face in the South Wales valleys and put down roots (see what I did there?) in 2014. He likes having me around because it distinguishes him from all the other Daves in his group. He even joined TBBC as part of the self-fulfilling prophecy and now can never shave, ever again.
“He enjoys the weirder things in life and has a large cabinet of curiosities where he collects, makes and sells oddities (see below). His hobbies include taxidermy, music and he has worked in IT for more years than he cares to remember.”